To Lady Catherine From Anne

To mommy dearest,

To my dearest mother,

To my mother Lady Catherine,

Happy Birthday Miss AustenI trust that this missive shall find you in good spirits tolerable health. I understand that the recent marriage of Miss Bennet to my cousin Mr Darcy certain recent events have altered your most cherished plans for securing the family fortune my future, putting you in a most despicable horrid agitated state. I do wish you would stop muttering such comments as “polluting the shades of Pemberley” and “no regard for honour and credit” at odd moments. I do not think it good for your health, though I have never observed you as weak of constitution as I.

The business is done, for which I find myself most relieved. I do not believe my temperament would have suited my cousin. I do admit to one regret on the subject, however, that I should have lost the opportunity to venture away from the confines of Rosings and its company. No doubt a visit to Pemberley is hence forth out of the question. I cannot be sure, as traveling has never been permitted me beyond a carriage ride, but I have often wondered if there might be something in this house the atmosphere here that has prevented my gaining any amount of strength beyond sitting upright.

It is curious that the Collinses should find it necessary to visit their relations in Meryton so abruptly. At any rate, I sincerely hope that when the Collinses return you are in a more condescending mood for Mr. Collins’s sake. I have missed our games of cassino and your old fashioned favored quadrille, and even Mr. Collins’s incessant rattling elaborate praises of admiration. His sycophancy attentiveness always seemed to put you in better spirits before…well, before your agitation. 

After taking a moment to read over the above I find it likely that I should not indeed give this letter to you. Regrettably I have never been endowed with the ability to convey any comfort with my words, and I believe my voice displeases you as you have never encouraged my singing, nor asked my opinion, always supplying your own.

Your loving daughter

With warmest regards,


*Photo: all’s well that inks well by b1gw1ght, obtained through Flickr.

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